ALOK
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Top 11 Underachievers of Team India
Got some interesting stuff here worth sharing .with you all. Pls. do read the
Below is a list of Team India Players featuring Top 11 Underachievers of Cricket Game, who represented India for some time but more importantly frustrated Indian cricket fans. The list is being compiled by one of the....Famous or Infamous Cricket writers. Enjoy reading!!!
1. Sadagoppan Ramesh
India has produced many stylish batsmen and Ramesh tried to take this art to an un-climbable suicidal height! The only batsman to defy all cricketing logics about footwork and still register two centuries and five half-centuries in his first seven Tests. He also tried his hand at being a movie star and as a host of a comedy show. Sadly for him, he flopped out on all accounts! His career statistics prove the existence of God!
Signature style: Those glorious cover-drives where he looked like a ‘sarkaari hand-pump’ with copyright footwork with his feet individually acting as brand ambassadors for Fevicol!
2. Deep Dasgupta
Coming from Bengal, Dasgupta came from that lucky breed of cricketers who existed between post-Nayan Mongia and pre-Dhoni era.
Drafted to Indian national team as a ‘specialist’ wicket-keeper and solid opening batsman, all Dasgupta managed was to stop the ball from going to byes without actually catching it. It is learnt that top scientists are still figuring out how a player with such extraordinary keeping abilities can actually ‘catch’ 13 players in 13 innings!
Signature style: That lazy elegance behind the stumps where he often used to take power naps and even forget to stand after the ball was delivered. Also, that art of making faces when he used to do grass sitters! Ufff, NSD stuff!
3. Vinod Kambli
Mistaken many-a-times as a West Indian cricketer with fascination of gold and other obvious reasons, the only good thing Vinod Kambli managed to do in his life was to strike friendship with Sachin Tendulkar!
A Test average of close to 55 can raise few eyebrows on his selection in this esteemed eleven- but his nine comebacks in his nine-year ODI career justify his selection. A failure in imitating Tendulkar as a player, the only thing he imitated from Sachin was his style of looking up to God and thanking him on his achievement. The only difference was that Sachin did that when he reached his hundred and Kambli did that when he was successful in opening his account!
Signature style: When he got that high-backlift game going, he looked like Brian Lara but when the ball bounced above his waist, he looked like Javagal Srinath!
4. Sanjay Manjrekar
The man hailed as the next Sunil Gavaskar from India, ended his career only better than that of Rohan Gavaskar! Obsessed with technical perfection, Manjrekar even edged the ball to slips with perfect hand-eye coordination and created just enough space for the ball to get through between his bat and pad!
Signature style: While his slow lazy batting in ODIs acted as a perfect sleeping pill, he- just like Mohinder Amarnath- often bored team-mates with his singing too!
5. Vijay Bharadwaj
The cricketer who told the world about size-zero figure before Kareena Kapoor. He was so thin that spectators needed a telescope to track him on the field! Bharadwaj shot to fame with a dream debut series at Nairobi mini World Cup but just like an old ‘Priya’ scooter, his career abruptly ran out of life!
Signature style: With a physique where his bat appeared heavier than his body weight, he sometimes cracked off-drives which were beyond perfection. Only to be in contrast with his Test career average of 9 runs, which was beyond belief!
6. Joginder Sharma
Joginder Sharma has a few things in common with Kapil Dev. He plays for Haryana, can hit the ball a long distance and has the surprise factor with his nippy medium pace. Alas, all that he does not have is the most required talent!
Joginder will perhaps always be remembered as the bowler who took the last wicket in the final of the inaugural ICC Twenty20 World Cup, but such was his confidence in bowling that last over- he has never been picked for any T-20 International thereafter!
Signature style: That head-scratching run-up and worried look on his face while bowling often confused batsmen of his mental state and forced them to do the unthinkable.
You don’t agree? Ask Misbah-ul-Haq!
7. Ajit Agarkar
One player who deserves to be awarded knighthood before Don Bradman is Ajit Agarkar. Born with matching ears like Lord Ganesha, he was indeed the God of underachievers! Pitted as a match-winner with bat and ball, Agarkar always showed that he has all the ingredients of being a match-winner but never formed a long-lasting mix.
Signature style: Agarkar or as his fans like to call him- ‘Sir Aggy’ used to do his batting with a very high backlift. So high it went at Australian tour of 1999 that before it could come down, Agarkar had seven consecutive ducks!
8. Romesh Powar
Like every overweight person who wants to play cricket, Romesh Powar had two options to pick from- become an outstanding slip fielder and shied himself from running in outfield like VVS Laxman or become a quality spinner! And he chose the second option minus the quality.
Small, dark and handsome (Okay! I cooked the third one), Powar’s off-spin skills were limited to bowling flighted deliveries. Historians believe that his only reason playing International cricket was because cricket had already seen Gatting, Ranatunga, Inzamam and Darren Lehmann!
Signature style: Powar was a tease even before he rolled his arm over: the big Powar waistline, the irritating red Powar sunglasses, the sparkling Powar grin, all conveyed to the opposition batsmen a seriously unserious cricketer!
9. Debasis Mohanty
Debasis Mohanty only knew to swing the ball in overcast favourable conditions; BCCI didn’t know how to pick him only for England tours! Though he stopped making news for his cricket very early in his career, Mohanty grabbed unexpected news headlines when a fan slapped then coach Greg Chappell for ignoring Mohanty for Indian team! And that was the only time I and Sourav Ganguly felt sorry for Greg Chappell.
Signature style: Mohanty belonged to the list of bowlers who made news with their terrible-looking bowling actions (Obviously headed by Paul Adams and Carl Hooper) rather than bowling performance. Mohanty’s bowling action was somewhat similar to revolving fans on a wind mill!
10. Munaf Patel
The best time in Munaf Patel’s career was the time before he got a selection call in the national team. Hailed as ‘Bahruch Express’ for his unseen raw pace, Munaf proved to be just a passenger train!
The rate at which Munaf lost his pace was so extraordinary that CBI had to raid MRF Pace Academy to see if it was being headed by Dennis Lillee and TA Shekhar or Madan Lal and Roger Binny!
Signature style: Munaf Patel had no signature style. He was too lazy to develop one!
11. Venkatapathi Raju
The only person Vijay Bharadwaj could knock-out in a fist fight was this spinner from Hyderabad. Called ‘Muscle’ by his teammates for the lack of it, Raju used his wrists for completely different thing what most Hyderabad cricketers use it for!
Signature style: Raju used to bowl really slow, so slow that batsmen often used to take drinks during his deliveries. A fighter cricketer, he retired only after his bowls stopped even crossing the half-pitch!
AND.... The 12th Man???
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...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
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Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar!!!
There is no logic how Sachin Tendulkar can feature in this team, but before readers start badmouthing me, SRT is made 12th man JUST BECAUSE many GREAT cricket FANS just CAN'T DIGEST the fact that there can be a team without Tendulkar! Ah, we proud Tendulkar fans!
So, there is my XI. No apologies for being rude!
Below is a list of Team India Players featuring Top 11 Underachievers of Cricket Game, who represented India for some time but more importantly frustrated Indian cricket fans. The list is being compiled by one of the....Famous or Infamous Cricket writers. Enjoy reading!!!
1. Sadagoppan Ramesh
India has produced many stylish batsmen and Ramesh tried to take this art to an un-climbable suicidal height! The only batsman to defy all cricketing logics about footwork and still register two centuries and five half-centuries in his first seven Tests. He also tried his hand at being a movie star and as a host of a comedy show. Sadly for him, he flopped out on all accounts! His career statistics prove the existence of God!
Signature style: Those glorious cover-drives where he looked like a ‘sarkaari hand-pump’ with copyright footwork with his feet individually acting as brand ambassadors for Fevicol!
2. Deep Dasgupta
Coming from Bengal, Dasgupta came from that lucky breed of cricketers who existed between post-Nayan Mongia and pre-Dhoni era.
Drafted to Indian national team as a ‘specialist’ wicket-keeper and solid opening batsman, all Dasgupta managed was to stop the ball from going to byes without actually catching it. It is learnt that top scientists are still figuring out how a player with such extraordinary keeping abilities can actually ‘catch’ 13 players in 13 innings!
Signature style: That lazy elegance behind the stumps where he often used to take power naps and even forget to stand after the ball was delivered. Also, that art of making faces when he used to do grass sitters! Ufff, NSD stuff!
3. Vinod Kambli
Mistaken many-a-times as a West Indian cricketer with fascination of gold and other obvious reasons, the only good thing Vinod Kambli managed to do in his life was to strike friendship with Sachin Tendulkar!
A Test average of close to 55 can raise few eyebrows on his selection in this esteemed eleven- but his nine comebacks in his nine-year ODI career justify his selection. A failure in imitating Tendulkar as a player, the only thing he imitated from Sachin was his style of looking up to God and thanking him on his achievement. The only difference was that Sachin did that when he reached his hundred and Kambli did that when he was successful in opening his account!
Signature style: When he got that high-backlift game going, he looked like Brian Lara but when the ball bounced above his waist, he looked like Javagal Srinath!
4. Sanjay Manjrekar
The man hailed as the next Sunil Gavaskar from India, ended his career only better than that of Rohan Gavaskar! Obsessed with technical perfection, Manjrekar even edged the ball to slips with perfect hand-eye coordination and created just enough space for the ball to get through between his bat and pad!
Signature style: While his slow lazy batting in ODIs acted as a perfect sleeping pill, he- just like Mohinder Amarnath- often bored team-mates with his singing too!
5. Vijay Bharadwaj
The cricketer who told the world about size-zero figure before Kareena Kapoor. He was so thin that spectators needed a telescope to track him on the field! Bharadwaj shot to fame with a dream debut series at Nairobi mini World Cup but just like an old ‘Priya’ scooter, his career abruptly ran out of life!
Signature style: With a physique where his bat appeared heavier than his body weight, he sometimes cracked off-drives which were beyond perfection. Only to be in contrast with his Test career average of 9 runs, which was beyond belief!
6. Joginder Sharma
Joginder Sharma has a few things in common with Kapil Dev. He plays for Haryana, can hit the ball a long distance and has the surprise factor with his nippy medium pace. Alas, all that he does not have is the most required talent!
Joginder will perhaps always be remembered as the bowler who took the last wicket in the final of the inaugural ICC Twenty20 World Cup, but such was his confidence in bowling that last over- he has never been picked for any T-20 International thereafter!
Signature style: That head-scratching run-up and worried look on his face while bowling often confused batsmen of his mental state and forced them to do the unthinkable.
You don’t agree? Ask Misbah-ul-Haq!
7. Ajit Agarkar
One player who deserves to be awarded knighthood before Don Bradman is Ajit Agarkar. Born with matching ears like Lord Ganesha, he was indeed the God of underachievers! Pitted as a match-winner with bat and ball, Agarkar always showed that he has all the ingredients of being a match-winner but never formed a long-lasting mix.
Signature style: Agarkar or as his fans like to call him- ‘Sir Aggy’ used to do his batting with a very high backlift. So high it went at Australian tour of 1999 that before it could come down, Agarkar had seven consecutive ducks!
8. Romesh Powar
Like every overweight person who wants to play cricket, Romesh Powar had two options to pick from- become an outstanding slip fielder and shied himself from running in outfield like VVS Laxman or become a quality spinner! And he chose the second option minus the quality.
Small, dark and handsome (Okay! I cooked the third one), Powar’s off-spin skills were limited to bowling flighted deliveries. Historians believe that his only reason playing International cricket was because cricket had already seen Gatting, Ranatunga, Inzamam and Darren Lehmann!
Signature style: Powar was a tease even before he rolled his arm over: the big Powar waistline, the irritating red Powar sunglasses, the sparkling Powar grin, all conveyed to the opposition batsmen a seriously unserious cricketer!
9. Debasis Mohanty
Debasis Mohanty only knew to swing the ball in overcast favourable conditions; BCCI didn’t know how to pick him only for England tours! Though he stopped making news for his cricket very early in his career, Mohanty grabbed unexpected news headlines when a fan slapped then coach Greg Chappell for ignoring Mohanty for Indian team! And that was the only time I and Sourav Ganguly felt sorry for Greg Chappell.
Signature style: Mohanty belonged to the list of bowlers who made news with their terrible-looking bowling actions (Obviously headed by Paul Adams and Carl Hooper) rather than bowling performance. Mohanty’s bowling action was somewhat similar to revolving fans on a wind mill!
10. Munaf Patel
The best time in Munaf Patel’s career was the time before he got a selection call in the national team. Hailed as ‘Bahruch Express’ for his unseen raw pace, Munaf proved to be just a passenger train!
The rate at which Munaf lost his pace was so extraordinary that CBI had to raid MRF Pace Academy to see if it was being headed by Dennis Lillee and TA Shekhar or Madan Lal and Roger Binny!
Signature style: Munaf Patel had no signature style. He was too lazy to develop one!
11. Venkatapathi Raju
The only person Vijay Bharadwaj could knock-out in a fist fight was this spinner from Hyderabad. Called ‘Muscle’ by his teammates for the lack of it, Raju used his wrists for completely different thing what most Hyderabad cricketers use it for!
Signature style: Raju used to bowl really slow, so slow that batsmen often used to take drinks during his deliveries. A fighter cricketer, he retired only after his bowls stopped even crossing the half-pitch!
AND.... The 12th Man???
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar!!!
There is no logic how Sachin Tendulkar can feature in this team, but before readers start badmouthing me, SRT is made 12th man JUST BECAUSE many GREAT cricket FANS just CAN'T DIGEST the fact that there can be a team without Tendulkar! Ah, we proud Tendulkar fans!
So, there is my XI. No apologies for being rude!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
BLIND GIRL
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.' One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.. Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
ÿFD
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
ÿFD
Life Is a Gift Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.
ÿFD
Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
ÿFD
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion..
ÿFD
Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
ÿFD
Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.
ÿFD
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
ÿFD
Life Is a Gift Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.
ÿFD
Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
ÿFD
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion..
ÿFD
Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
ÿFD
Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
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