Top 11 Underachievers of Team India

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Below is a list of Team India Players featuring Top 11 Underachievers of Cricket Game, who represented India for some time but more importantly frustrated Indian cricket fans. The list is being compiled by one of the....Famous or Infamous Cricket writers. Enjoy reading!!!

1. Sadagoppan Ramesh
India has produced many stylish batsmen and Ramesh tried to take this art to an un-climbable suicidal height! The only batsman to defy all cricketing logics about footwork and still register two centuries and five half-centuries in his first seven Tests. He also tried his hand at being a movie star and as a host of a comedy show. Sadly for him, he flopped out on all accounts! His career statistics prove the existence of God!

Signature style: Those glorious cover-drives where he looked like a ‘sarkaari hand-pump’ with copyright footwork with his feet individually acting as brand ambassadors for Fevicol!

2. Deep Dasgupta
Coming from Bengal, Dasgupta came from that lucky breed of cricketers who existed between post-Nayan Mongia and pre-Dhoni era.

Drafted to Indian national team as a ‘specialist’ wicket-keeper and solid opening batsman, all Dasgupta managed was to stop the ball from going to byes without actually catching it. It is learnt that top scientists are still figuring out how a player with such extraordinary keeping abilities can actually ‘catch’ 13 players in 13 innings!

Signature style: That lazy elegance behind the stumps where he often used to take power naps and even forget to stand after the ball was delivered. Also, that art of making faces when he used to do grass sitters! Ufff, NSD stuff!

3. Vinod Kambli
Mistaken many-a-times as a West Indian cricketer with fascination of gold and other obvious reasons, the only good thing Vinod Kambli managed to do in his life was to strike friendship with Sachin Tendulkar!

A Test average of close to 55 can raise few eyebrows on his selection in this esteemed eleven- but his nine comebacks in his nine-year ODI career justify his selection. A failure in imitating Tendulkar as a player, the only thing he imitated from Sachin was his style of looking up to God and thanking him on his achievement. The only difference was that Sachin did that when he reached his hundred and Kambli did that when he was successful in opening his account!

Signature style: When he got that high-backlift game going, he looked like Brian Lara but when the ball bounced above his waist, he looked like Javagal Srinath!

4. Sanjay Manjrekar
The man hailed as the next Sunil Gavaskar from India, ended his career only better than that of Rohan Gavaskar! Obsessed with technical perfection, Manjrekar even edged the ball to slips with perfect hand-eye coordination and created just enough space for the ball to get through between his bat and pad!

Signature style: While his slow lazy batting in ODIs acted as a perfect sleeping pill, he- just like Mohinder Amarnath- often bored team-mates with his singing too!

5. Vijay Bharadwaj
The cricketer who told the world about size-zero figure before Kareena Kapoor. He was so thin that spectators needed a telescope to track him on the field! Bharadwaj shot to fame with a dream debut series at Nairobi mini World Cup but just like an old ‘Priya’ scooter, his career abruptly ran out of life!

Signature style: With a physique where his bat appeared heavier than his body weight, he sometimes cracked off-drives which were beyond perfection. Only to be in contrast with his Test career average of 9 runs, which was beyond belief!

6. Joginder Sharma
Joginder Sharma has a few things in common with Kapil Dev. He plays for Haryana, can hit the ball a long distance and has the surprise factor with his nippy medium pace. Alas, all that he does not have is the most required talent!

Joginder will perhaps always be remembered as the bowler who took the last wicket in the final of the inaugural ICC Twenty20 World Cup, but such was his confidence in bowling that last over- he has never been picked for any T-20 International thereafter!

Signature style: That head-scratching run-up and worried look on his face while bowling often confused batsmen of his mental state and forced them to do the unthinkable.

You don’t agree? Ask Misbah-ul-Haq!

7. Ajit Agarkar
One player who deserves to be awarded knighthood before Don Bradman is Ajit Agarkar. Born with matching ears like Lord Ganesha, he was indeed the God of underachievers! Pitted as a match-winner with bat and ball, Agarkar always showed that he has all the ingredients of being a match-winner but never formed a long-lasting mix.

Signature style: Agarkar or as his fans like to call him- ‘Sir Aggy’ used to do his batting with a very high backlift. So high it went at Australian tour of 1999 that before it could come down, Agarkar had seven consecutive ducks!

8. Romesh Powar
Like every overweight person who wants to play cricket, Romesh Powar had two options to pick from- become an outstanding slip fielder and shied himself from running in outfield like VVS Laxman or become a quality spinner! And he chose the second option minus the quality.

Small, dark and handsome (Okay! I cooked the third one), Powar’s off-spin skills were limited to bowling flighted deliveries. Historians believe that his only reason playing International cricket was because cricket had already seen Gatting, Ranatunga, Inzamam and Darren Lehmann!

Signature style: Powar was a tease even before he rolled his arm over: the big Powar waistline, the irritating red Powar sunglasses, the sparkling Powar grin, all conveyed to the opposition batsmen a seriously unserious cricketer!

9. Debasis Mohanty
Debasis Mohanty only knew to swing the ball in overcast favourable conditions; BCCI didn’t know how to pick him only for England tours! Though he stopped making news for his cricket very early in his career, Mohanty grabbed unexpected news headlines when a fan slapped then coach Greg Chappell for ignoring Mohanty for Indian team! And that was the only time I and Sourav Ganguly felt sorry for Greg Chappell.

Signature style: Mohanty belonged to the list of bowlers who made news with their terrible-looking bowling actions (Obviously headed by Paul Adams and Carl Hooper) rather than bowling performance. Mohanty’s bowling action was somewhat similar to revolving fans on a wind mill!

10. Munaf Patel
The best time in Munaf Patel’s career was the time before he got a selection call in the national team. Hailed as ‘Bahruch Express’ for his unseen raw pace, Munaf proved to be just a passenger train!

The rate at which Munaf lost his pace was so extraordinary that CBI had to raid MRF Pace Academy to see if it was being headed by Dennis Lillee and TA Shekhar or Madan Lal and Roger Binny!

Signature style: Munaf Patel had no signature style. He was too lazy to develop one!

11. Venkatapathi Raju
The only person Vijay Bharadwaj could knock-out in a fist fight was this spinner from Hyderabad. Called ‘Muscle’ by his teammates for the lack of it, Raju used his wrists for completely different thing what most Hyderabad cricketers use it for!

Signature style: Raju used to bowl really slow, so slow that batsmen often used to take drinks during his deliveries. A fighter cricketer, he retired only after his bowls stopped even crossing the half-pitch!

AND.... The 12th Man???
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Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar!!!
There is no logic how Sachin Tendulkar can feature in this team, but before readers start badmouthing me, SRT is made 12th man JUST BECAUSE many GREAT cricket FANS just CAN'T DIGEST the fact that there can be a team without Tendulkar! Ah, we proud Tendulkar fans!

So, there is my XI. No apologies for being rude!

BLIND GIRL

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.' One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.. Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'
ÿFD
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
ÿFD
Life Is a Gift Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.
ÿFD
Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
ÿFD
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion..
ÿFD
Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
ÿFD

Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.

IAS TOPPERS ANSWERS

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. Concrete floors are very h ard to crack! (UPSC Topper) Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS) Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? A. Very l arge hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS) Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES) Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep? A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98) Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2) Q. What looks like half apple ? A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper ) Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ? A: Dinner. Q. What happened when wheel was invented ? A: It caused a revolution. Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state? A: Liquid (UPSC 33Rank ) Below are the Interview Questions, which were asked in HR Round..... No one will GET second chance to impress.... Very very Impressive Questions and Answers..... ... Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus: An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. An old friend who once saved your life. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car? This is a moral/ethical dilem ma that was once ac tually used as part of a job application. * You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; * or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to! pay him back. * However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer? He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams." Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box." Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?" The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir" Question 3: Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant. Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband. Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked Question 4: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you? Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea" He got selected. You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before. (Answer: The question was "What is before you (U - alphabet) Reply was "TEA" ( T - alphabet) Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U" Question 5: Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his "First Diwali"? People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mitila [Janaki's place], Lanka etc... But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing N arakasura. In Dusavata ar, Krishnavatha ar comes after Raa mavatha ar. So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all! Question 6: The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table where u have kept your files." Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and told that this was the central point at the table. Interviewer asked how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table, then he answers quickly that "sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask....." And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness. ....... This is What Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ... "THINK OUT OF BOX"

DON'T DRINK & DRIVE

Hi all,

A story that touches your heart.....

I was walking around in a Big Bazar store making shopping, when I saw
a Cashier talking to a boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years
Old.


The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy
this doll. Then the little boy turned to me and asked: ''Uncle, are
you sure I don't have enough money?''

I counted his cash and replied: ''You know that you don't have enough
money to buy the doll, my dear.'' The little boy was still holding the
doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give
this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so
much . I wanted to Gift her for her BIRTHDAY.


I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my
sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this.
'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to
see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with
her to give it to my sister..''

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I
told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I
come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him
where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my
picture with her so my sister won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I
wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go
to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with
sad eyes, very quietly..

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to
his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough
For the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'


Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to
sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so
that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted
to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't
dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll
and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses.'


I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I
started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I
remembered a local

news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a
truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The
little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical
state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the
life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to
recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news
paper that the young woman had passed away.. I couldn't stop myself as
I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where
the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make
last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a
beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and
the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling
that my life had been changed for ever...

The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is
still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a
drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Please DO NOT DRINK & DRIVE.

Real love

An amazing Love Story

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after

her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the
party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but

due

to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was

too
nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please,
let
me go home.... suddenly he asked the waiter. 'would you please give me

some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee.'

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he

put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why
you
have this hobby? He replied: 'when I was a little boy, I was living near
the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea,
just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty
coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my
hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there'. While
saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can
tell
out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home,
has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about
her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice
talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets
all
her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was
such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty
coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess
married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And,
every
time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she
knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: 'My
dearest,
please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I
said
to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so
nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It
was
hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be
the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times
in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to
lie
to you for anything..
Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like
the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty
coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for
anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my
whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you
and
have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee
again'.
Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's
the taste of salty coffee?
It's sweet. She replied.
Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear
but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one
you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends..
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he
cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, '...that's
her.'
If u open this U have to repost it or you will have bad luck for
the rest of your life!!!!!!!.............
Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you.

Something good will happen to you at approx 1:42pm tomorrow, it
could be anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.
If you break this chain, you will be cursed with relationship
problems for the most important time of your life.

AMAZING LOVE STORY

Once there was a boy who loved a girl very much. The girl’s father however didn’t like the boy. The boy wanted to write a love letter to the girl but he was sure that the girl’s father would read it first. Nevertheless, he wrote this letter :

“This great love I said I have for you

Is gone and I find my dislikes for you

Increases everyday, when I see you

I don’t even like the way you look,

The one thing I want to do is to

Look another way. I never wanted to

Marry. Our last conversation

Was very dull and in no way

Has made me anxious to see you again.

You think only of yourself.

If we were married I know that I’d find

Life very difficult nor would I find

Pleasure in living with you. I’ve heart

To give, but it is not a heart

I want to give you, No one is more

Demanding or selfish than you and less

Able to care for me and helpful to me

I sincerely want you to understand that

I speak the truth. You will do me a favor

If you consider to put this to an end. Do not cry

To answer this. Your letters are full of

Things that do not interest me.

True concern for me. Goodbye! Believe me

I don’t care for you. Please don’t think

I am still yours”

The girl’s father read the letter, was very happy and gave it to his daughter. His daughter read the letter and was very happy too.

“CAN YOU ANSWER WHY WAS SHE HAPPY”